Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Relationship

Interpersonal Relationship

An interpersonal relationship is an association between two or more people that may range from fleeting to enduring. This association may be based on limerence, love and liking, regular business interactions, or some other type of social commitment. Interpersonal relationships take place in a great variety of contexts, such as family, friends, marriage, associates, work, clubs, neighborhoods, and churches. They may be regulated by law, custom, or mutual agreement, and are the basis of social groups and society as a whole. Although humans are fundamentally social creatures, interpersonal relationships are not always healthy. Examples of unhealthy relationships include abusive relationships and codependence.

A relationship is normally viewed as a connection between two individuals, such as a romantic or intimate relationship, or a parent-child relationship. Individuals can also have relationships with groups of people, such as the relation between a pastor and his congregation, an uncle and a family, or a mayor and a town. Finally, groups or even nations may have relations with each other, though this is a much broader domain than that covered under the topic of interpersonal relationships. See such articles as international relations for more information on associations between groups. Most scholarly work on relationships focuses on romantic partners in pairs or dyads. These intimate relationships are, however, only a small subset of interpersonal relationships.



Love


Love is any of a number of emotions related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my husband"). This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

A fascinating study by researchers at the University College London, University of Warwick and London School of Economics and Political Science shows that a longer courtship before mating allows a male to show that he is "good" from the female's point of view ("goodness" is defined as his willingness to care for young after mating). The study used game theory to analyze the male/female dating game. According to the researchers, a longer courtship shows that the males who are more available for lasting and true love relationships were willing to wait and delay having sex. They consider these subjects to be "good men" from the women's point of view.

I love this study!! It is not only funny in its use of value-laden terms of "good" and "bad" (by a mathematician and economist no less) but it is totally in line with the Dating Program I describe in my dating advice book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love. My students (of all ages) who are having great success in finding lasting and committed relationships are casually dating a few guys and not having sex with any of them at the outset (a little kissing and canoodling is OK). This engenders respect for the woman and tends to protect her from getting hurt by a guy who is only after sex.

On my dating program it is only after at least two months of consistently improving contact that the women consider dating a fellow exclusively and possibly having sex with him. Over the course of these two months, there should be more sharing of friends, family and personal space, as well as feelings and thoughts. True love comes from having a best friendship along with chemistry. So waiting is a good thing.

Oh, and by the way, the longing for each other and anticipation usually make the sex itself, once it happens, all the more sweet, meaningul and fantastic!!



Love

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Relationship

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